I don’t know if you heard, but the Saints played pretty well last Sunday.
Over on Saintswin.com, Reid called it the “Oh Shit” game. We prefer describing our offense as Crescent City Express, but whatever your terminology, it’s clear that the Saints’ offensive ceiling is as high as it’s ever been.
I don’t need to go over the particulars, because I know you’ve obsessively searched for superlatives on the win, so I’ll cut to the chase: our offensive greatness has a dark side.
For every domefield blowout, some sad sap of a quarterback is left on the sidelined looking like a locomotive is bearing down on him and his car stalled on the tracks.
The uniforms and personnel may change, but that look remains constant. I’m sure, for fans of another ilk, these looks are painful, soul wrenching, season crushing expressions.
For us it’s manna, and guess what? It’s supper time. Here is the result of our past annihilations:
9. Demarcus Ware and Tony Romo gaze into the vacuum that is a 32 point deficit.
I’d like to know what’s going through their minds. I’d like to know how all three of them go almost entirely still for this six second clip. I bet Tony Romo is singing a Miley Sirus song under his breath. Remember this look, for it is of defeat.
8. Mike Sherman’s no good, very bad day.
The Saints had 465 yards of total offense, forced four turnovers and generally had this Monday Night Football game under control from the first drive. Mike Sherman still doesn’t know what to do about it.
7. Eli Manning is skeptical; Tom Coughlin disapproves.
This game came in 2011, when the Saints decided to go into overdrive against the Giants. After Mark Ingram sealed the game with a gorgeous 30 yard run up the left sideline (yes, that happened), the Giants coach and quarterback have a few words about their predicament
6. Mike Smith and Matt Ryan get records broken on them.
This amazing clip comes at the end of the 2011 season in the moments after Drew Brees breaks Dan Marino’s yardage record (and one game before we broke ALL THE RECORDS). The Falcons are still pouting over us running up the score. The shame is so unbearable that Mike Smith is forced to turn away in shame.
5. Slow zoom to sadness.
Whoever was in charge of this slow zoom should win an Emmy. This 2009 ass kicking came with the best quarterback performance of the modern era. Drew Brees went 18-23 371 yards, 5 touchdowns, and a whopping 16.1 yard per pass attempt. Soak it up Tom, soak it alllllllllllll up.
4. Bill Belichick joins the sad sack party.
Sorry, I’m not done with game yet. No quarterback has – before or since – thrown five touchdowns against a Belichick team. Watch as he grimaces, bites his lip, shakes his head, and then frowns. We flummoxed Bill Belichick. Let them all make as many bounty jokes as you like, I can almost guarantee we’re the only team that forced this reaction from the NFL’s best coach.
3. Tom Coughlin chews away his sorrow.
Tom Coughlin makes a repeat appearance! This game shows up midway through the 2009 season, when Tom Coughlin challenges a Robert Meachem catch that is about to put us up 28 points. He takes out his frustration on his stick of gum.
2. Kurt Warner is broken.
This is the face of a Hall of Famer who is about to end his career by being run over by the Crescent City Express (and also run over by bounties, Dollar Dollar bill y’all!). This is the face of a man who, after scoring on the first play of the game, got outscored 45-7. This is the face of a man who met Reggie’s bat. A fond fairwell, Sir Kurt, enjoy retirement!
1. Down goes Favre.
Okay, this one is a bonus. Favre didn’t get steamrolled by our offense, but collapsed under the weight of his own hubris. Tie game, 19 seconds to go on the fringe of field goal range and Favre throws a pass against his body into the middle of the field.
Thank you for Favre-ing,
Who Dat Nation
PS. Pants on the Ground? Really? You sort of deserved this.