LOLANTA: Basking in the Misery of the Atlanta Falcons

LOLANTA: Basking in the Misery of the Atlanta Falcons

The Atlanta Falcons are 1-3.

The Falcons are 1-3.

Sure, sure, this means that Ryan is winning the debate I hate with him, but I’m entirely okay with that. That’s one debate I’d be thrilled to lose.

Basically, the Falcons are sucking because all those close games they’ve won over the years are now close games they’re losing. They’re sucking because, hey, if the real key to your offense is a 90 year-old tight end, let’s just throw Jerod Mayo and Jamie Collins at him, like so:

JamieMugsTonyG

And here are the wondrous tears of sad Falcons fans:

SadFalcons

I know we’ve got a game tonight, but just…just bask in their suffering for a while. The Falcons expected to win a Super Bowl this year. After all, they were just a play away! But instead they’ve had their spirits crushed week after week, usually in devastating last-minute fashion. Those games the Saints won, but maybe shouldn’t have? The Falcons are losing them.

Do you remember 2008? In 2008, the Saints were probably good enough to win in the double-digits, but they lost six games by five or fewer points, and so they won 8 games and we were sad. The season-makers aren’t the games you win by twenty–they’re the games you win when you maybe shouldn’t. They’re the Meachem game in Washington back in 2009 (or the Miami one that same year), and probably the Falcons and Bucs games already in 2013.

We tend to look at the games in which we struggle as bad things–signs that we’re shaky, not hitting on all cylinders, misfiring, showing our weaknesses; choose your own cliche. But what if those games aren’t indications you’re bound for 9-7?

What if those games are what make you 13-3?

Anyway, if the Saints win tonight they’ll be three games up in the division after four games played.

How’s the weather down there, Atlanta?

Photo via Pro Football Schedule.

Author

Bradley Warshauer
The fact that Bradley Warshauer published his first novel when he was 17 long ago became a sort of good-natured joke, primarily because of a Facebook group he himself may or may not have made during his freshman year of college, which answered an unstated rhetorical question with: "Yes, I wrote a book."