So far, the Saints seem to have a defense. And the man responsible for that defense? Rob Ryan. And Rob Ryan has the best hair. Just. The best.
The Internet has created things to honor that hair, and the center of the action is a Facebook page called Rob Ryan’s Hair, which you simply must go like.
And now, the best Internet images of Rob Ryan’s hair from the Rob Ryan’s Hair Facebook page and elsewhere.
1. The Farrah
We’re from the 80s and 90s, so we don’t really remember much about Farrah, but we strongly believe in comparisons of Rob Ryan to beautiful blonde women.
2. The Thor
Also for your consideration: The intense eyes, the masculine facial hair, the inexplicable but glorious gold back-lighting.
3. The Fabio
In writing, you should avoid cliches. Hair flowing in the wind is a cliche. But Rob Ryan’s hair flows in the wind, just like Fabio’s on all those trashy romance novel covers. Rob Ryan 1, Cliches 0.
4. The How Do You Tie a Tie
This is the picture of a man who either spent all of his morning routine time on making his hair look beautiful, or who spent no time at all making anything about his appearance look beautiful; perhaps Rob Ryan’s hair, a living thing, the opposite of Mel Kiper’s hair, which is the pilusian1 equivalent of a dead coral reef, just did it all on its own.
The critical feature of this image, though, is the horribly-tied tie. The back of the thing is almost the front of the thing.
5. The Ten Commandments
The best thing about this one is the fact Rob Ryan and Charlton Heston are making the same facial expression.
6. The Obi Wan
Rob Ryan casts his eyes over the horizon, back in the direction of Luke’s homestead. He knows what is there, but the realization has not yet struck the young Skywalker, who is more concerned about the poor dead Jawas. Luke wonders aloud at the Sand People who must have done this wretched deed.
“No,” Ryan says. “These blast points are too accurate for Sand People. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”
Ryan, of course, knows this to be a lie arising from the sports media narrative industry. He knows Mike Smith’s men can’t even shoot straight, much less shoot accurately. But whatever. Stupid Falcons.
7. The Dude
Self-explanatory, this one.
8. The Maximus Decimus Meridius
He will have his vengeance, Jerry Jones–in this life or the next.
9. The Gandalf
Or run, either, ideally.
10. The Avengers
Just…Just enjoy this one. And don’t miss the gold-plated 37 on the Iron Man suit. That’s right: Steve Gleason is Iron Man.
Basically, the man who seems to have maybe brought New Orleans a defense is the biggest bona fide folk hero since Jayne Cobb.
For more on Rob Ryan and the Saints, check out our All-Saints Blog.